Saturday, June 30, 2012

Now that I am (one year) older and wiser...

I am loving motherhood and our perfect little family of three and since becoming a mum there are a few things that I have come to realise.

Parenthood is not created equally:
Some babies cry, some babies don’t, some babies sleep, some babies don’t, some
babies eat, some babies don’t, some people have lots of help, some people don't. Parenthood is not equally as easy or difficult for all parents. Neither is it's ease based on your competencies in other areas of your life. You could be the most successful business person in the universe but still struggle with a non sleeping baby. You could be an un-employed, un-educated, bludger and find caring for a new born a breeze. It is different for everyone and every baby, and things can change in the blink of an eye. Everyone struggles at some point with something. If there is anyone in the world who has not struggled with anything I am sure they would have had another baby and struggled with that one. If they didn't it is best we don't know them anyway as it would just make us feel inadequate.

There is no-one more vulnerable than a new mum:
The people you come across in your babies first months of life, have the ability to make or break you. Someone telling you, you're doing a good job can make you cry with appreciation. A 'breast is best' poster can make you burn with guilt.  During our difficult times at the beginning of my journey into motherhood, I saw many 'professionals' to help figure out why Evie was so unsettled. Too many of these people made me feel worse, and only a couple made me feel better, and I will remember, appreciate and be thankful for them forever. Because of these majorly differing experiences and the power they have on you during those days, I have realised I would love to somehow work with new mums in some way or another.

That you will look back fondly on even the hardest days so enjoy them:
Evie cried A LOT! Hours and hours a day. Inconsolably. Didn't want to be held and didn't sleep much during the day. I walked for hours a day, to encourage sleep and to sooth meltdowns (both mum and bubs!), sometimes for up to 3 hours. BUT I now look back at that time with memories of blue skies and a fit new mum drinking chai lattes at the mall. I look back at photos of tiny Evie and miss her baby days. No matter how hard it is, it gets easier and with that new ease you are able to look back fondly at the harder times.

The only constant is change:
Nothing stays the same... except maybe your yearning for a sleep in. Don't focus on the hardships as things will change. One moment you are dead set sure you are going to have to get up at 5am for the next 10 moment you are sleeping in (never thought i would say that!) until 6am. Awesome. One day your baby throws all their food on the ground (and you are sure they have the early signs of an eating disorder), the next day they scoff down every crumb of food in site (and you are sure you are going to have to put a lock on the fridge). Things always change, so hang in their if it's tough, and enjoy it while it lasts if it's great!

You've got to ride the horse you’re on!:
Don’t compare yourself or your baby to others. It's just a recipe for stress, worry and dis-satisfaction. There is likely to be someone better off, but don't forget that there is always someone worse off too.  In a nut shell, just don't do it.

I am sure I will continue to realise many more things like this as time goes on... and by the time my children are old and have children of their own, I will be qualified enough to warrant being a mum :) It's a pity you don't get these competancies before you have the opportunity to learn them to hard way. Hmmm maybe a new elective in high school???

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