Saturday, July 21, 2012

are you a worrier?

When it comes to worrying I am an expert, so when I got pregnant I realised it was likely that I would end up being an anxious mum. It was a pleasant surprise that I was actually very easy going when it came to the typical new mum worries. I never really worried much about-

Whether the baby was breathing at night
Whether the baby was eating enough food
Whether the baby would choke on it's food
Whether the baby was too cold when going out
Whether the baby would catch a cold from the snotty kids at the shops.

I'm not sure how I managed to not worry about these things, but maybe because I watched my sisters being super cool un-worried mums.

Instead I came up with very imaginative, far fetched things to focus all my worry on. Such as-

  • Whether my baby had a rare disorder in which the part of her brain which signals that you are full does not work, resulting in an massively obese child who would have to go to a boarding school where food intake is restricted.
  • Whether my baby showed signs of early onset autism.
  • That my baby did not like me and would rebel against me for the rest of my entire life and become an out of control crazy teen.
  • That because my baby doesn't sit still she has ADHD and my house will be destroyed and I will never relax again and will go crazy and end up in a mental asylum unable to care for my family.
  • Even when great things, like when she learnt how to stack cups, I would worry that she was a genius and as a result would be an outcast at school. That she would be so smart she would think her parents were dumb and would not have any respect for us.
A professional once told me that this is called catastrophising. I am really good at that. But getting better at not being so good at it.

This quote jumped out at me from Kelle Hamptons blog-

"There is a reason for everyone to be unhappy. There is reason for everyone to be happy. What's your focus?"

As Evie has grown up and become more communicative my imaginative worry has toned down a bit, thank goodness... and I am hoping it is a thing of the past. If I was giving a new mum with great thinking powers like me advice, I am not really sure I have any advice that would actually help. Except that worrying about these things is not going to make them less likely to happen, so it's a waste of time.  To keep yourself busy so you don't have time to think (except every new mum is busy... and I still found time to worry). Just know that whatever does end up happening, you will cope with, because you just have to. Whatever happens you will take on and it will be part of your life and you will make it work, so just go with the flow. Just know that all mums worry and that it is inevitable at some point....hopefully we are just getting it all out of the way early. Fingers crossed and try not to worry that you will always worry because you won't :).

How could you possibly waste time worrying when there is such cuteness in the world!?

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