Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Love is... wiping someone else's nose on your sleeve

When it came to motherhood the undying love was there from the beginning. Starting(unfortunately) in the form of "is she still breathing" or "what if she hates me" and of course flooding in when watching her sleeping peacefully.  But the warm and fuzzie indicators were often lost in amongst the cloud of sleep deprivation, breastfeeding difficulties and anxiousness. I knew it was there because without it I wouldn't have felt guilty for the array of things that all mothers feel guilty about. But since my little beauty has grown into more of a person the warm and fuzzies shine through brightly and I get to love in more pleasant ways than via worry and concern(hallelujah), and they are welcomed with trumpets and confetti and floods of relief.

So if you don't have the pleasure of entering parenthood the fairytale way (something along the lines of giving birth naturally to a sleeping and smiling ball of happiness followed by an overwhelming and everlasting rush of "i have no idea how we ever lived our lives sans child") don't freak out. Real true love of the deepest kind is loving even when things are rough and even when they are totally crap. Loving when things are great is easy, it is the hard love (that at the time doesn't feel like love at all) that runs the deepest and marks us the most.

Here is some of my list of love. It is these little things that told me that my heart had been stolen by my perfect little family (even during the marathon cryfests!).

Love is... wiping someone else's nose on your sleeve without thinking it is gross.
Love is... inhaling the scent of their unwashed skin and hair and thinking it's delicious.
Love is... getting enjoyment from picking the cradlecap out of their hair (yes i am a total weirdo).
Love is... the overwhelming urge to squeeze them.
Love is... creeping in to watch them sleep at least 10 times a night because it makes you melt.
Love is... feeling excited on the way to collect them from daycare EVERY single time.
Love is... wanting to wake them up just so you can hold them (i've never followed through on this one though, sleep is too precious).
Love is... picking up their half chewed food and eating it, without even thinking (about how gross that is!).
Love is... feeling sad imagining their sad face.
Love is... wanting to hang out with them, even when they won't stop crying.
Love is... wanting to show their awesomeness off to people.
Love is... soooooo much more than what we see in the movies.

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